Monday, July 06, 2009

why? because it's america's birthday.

the 4th of july is easily up there as my second favorite holiday. christmas can’t be touched but our nation’s annual celebration of birth comes in as a close second. with 27 of these holidays under my wing and coming off of one very successful holiday weekend, i’ve observed a few crucial necessities that will guarantee your future 4th to be a memorable one.

american flag bandanas. these scarves were purchased on a whim for everyone in my summer share house. some chose to wear them as do-rags (sp.? excuse my ineptitude when it comes to this type of headgear). some chose to rock them straight across the forehead – hulk hogan style. others opted for the loin-cloth look. regardless, a potential fashion staple come 7/4/2010.

firefly vodka. never heard of it? me either. well, not till this weekend. this little sweet tea poison really has no taste of any alcoholic lick to it. consider yourself warned.

sparklers. easily the cheapest firework out there and the most revered.

boating on our parents’ never-to-be-named boat. or any boat for that matter. if you’re lucky enough to be in dc for the fourth, head up the potomac and watch those fireworks pop up over the monument. you can pretty much touch them.

belly flops. take one for the team and anty up. it may hurt you, but it makes us laugh and go, “ohhhhhhhhh.”

the processed kind. but stay away from that nathan’s hot dog eating contest. c’mon, joey chestnut. 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes? and how was the rest of your 4th?

the obnoxious drunk. every 4th has one. sis suggested “accidentally” pushing into pool or overboard. she also offered to fish ‘em out.

this is actually something your 4th of july should not include. the american flag string bikini. go figure – when I typed in “american flag bikini” into google –
THIS comes up.

and with that, i’m done. only 362 more days till the next one.

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