tori on today

when i heard hoda woman was going to dubai this week, i was pleasantly surprised to learn tori spelling would be joining kathie lee during the 4th hour of the today show. i learned a lot between 10 a.m. and 11 a.m. the past three days. she shared all kinds of good stuff with us:

a quick recap:
1. she is aware chelsea handler still hates her
2. her mom still hates her
3. people think she looks like a man – and in particular, chelsea handler does
4. tori spelling loves being tori spelling and for the first time in her life, she is not embarrassed to be tori spelling. yes, she said that
5. she buries herself and her kids in fecal covered sand
6. she has no problem with fecal matter…in fact, the word, “fecal,” is on the regular in her vocabulary
7. apparently, she has crater cleavage….whatever that is
8. she bribes her son with m&m’s and kathie lee’s response, “oh you’re one of those kinds of mothers”
9. she refers to her son’s ability to urinate as “unleashing the beast”
10. she showed up to the today show on day #3 without a bra. apparently, she forgot to put on one and thought the national audience should be made aware of this
11. she loves flings…the 85 calorie kind…not the kind with other people’s husbands
12. she is shocked an 18 year old would want to get botox…hahaha, she wouldn’t know anything about that.

that’s some great material for my girl, chels. and can you imagine where snl is gonna run with this?

but hey, darling outfits, tori. and honestly, you were charming and cutesy.